I Think My Zen Is Cowering in the Closet

I strive for calm. I do yoga in the morning (although I get ticked off a surprising amount of the time while doing it. Perhaps that's bad...) I knit as a form of relaxation and meditation. And yet during the course of my day, I want to bitchslap people (bitchslap? bitch slap? hmm) about twenty times a day. So what happens to all the Zen? Where does it go? Why can't I be one of those people who exudes calm, leaving others in a trance-like state?

OK- see- this is stressing me out.

(Deep cleansing breaths. I am standing on a beach. Knitting. With a boozy drink in hand... ahhhh.)

Oh, wait-- here's the problem! I'm knitting with the wrong yarn! Who knew?

Fear and Loathing in the Yarn Stash

What is Gonzo Knitting?

It is knitting in search of a little freakin' inner peace.
It is trying to knit with one hand while holding a cocktail in the other.
It is trying to ignore whatever strange things might be afoot in your yarn stash.
It is realizing that no matter how carefully you check your gage, sometimes the laws of physics conspire against you, and your carefully planned sweater becomes a phone booth cozy.

To paraphrase HST, "When the going gets weird, the weird cast on."